Sara Stewart

When I was diagnosed I thought: ‘You have the wrong person. It can’t be me. I’m too busy!’ Six months earlier I’d felt a thickening in my breast. My GP said to return if it didn’t go away and although I was concerned, I was good at putting it to the back of my mind. I was so busy, I’d just returned from a UK tour, was buying and selling a new house (post divorce), overseeing building work, looking after my two teenage children and about to go to South Africa to film for a few months. It was a pretty intense time.

I was very lucky that they caught it early. It had not spread to the lymphs so I just had to have a lumpectomy and radiotherapy. I was sailing through my radiotherapy but the day after my last treatment it was like I walked into a wall and I was completely flattened. I had no energy, headaches, fluctuating temperatures and just felt terrible.

I began a gradual process of trying to regain stamina. I contacted The Haven but was unsure at first. I didn’t want breast cancer to define me. I just wanted to get through it and get on with my life. I was pretending it wasn’t happening to me. But the Haven really helped. My first visit was to a group session where you could talk if you wanted to but didn’t have to. We were such a diverse group – women who had lost their hair or the cancer had spread, other women who were post operation and those who were out of the other side. It was really bonding, very touching and reassuring to be with other women who were going through the same thing.

The nutritionist was great; she gave me quick, balanced recipes and explained the principles of healthy eating. I’ve also seen the herbalist, the counsellor and might explore reflexology. Every time I go in I feel like I don’t have to pretend I’m coping. I felt bad for what I was putting my family though, I want to reassure them and that means not collapsing. Putting on a brave face can be tiring and there are definitely some dark nights where suddenly it just hits me and I get really upset. People at The Haven are not shocked - they have seen worse or better. You can go there and don’t have to pretend you are coping. You can go and just relax which is a huge relief.

It’s relatively early days for me. I’m still having treatment but I’ve found the energy to film two TV series and a couple of films, so I’m back on track.